What kind of Mum am I?

I am going to be honest I struggle with motherhood.

Not just a bit but recently more than a quite a lot. My little girl is turning into a stroppy teenager at the grand old age of nearly 19 months. I am finding motherhood not at all like my hippy idealistic picture.

I am struggling on communication and how to connect with my growing toddler. She understands the words, can do a handful of signs but am I missing something? She can tell me Milk or Snack and Please. More often than not we have toddler tantrums around the fridge or pantry and I’m worried by letting her eat for comfort this could bring a whole load of future issues, also am I showing her that by letting her follow her own path that she’s in control?

Am I too distracted, am I not paying enough attention, am I missing something and what am I doing?

I’m the one slowly loosing the plot. Where’s that hippy mummy gone that I so want to be!

3 Comments

  1. July 8, 2011 / 1:53 pm

    So many people will read this and be nodding. I know that I am. I think the fact that you and I are aware of this is a good thing. It’s not easy being a mum is it? I wrote recently about feeling like I wasn’t “connected” with my children. Because I didn’t know how to talk, play or parent them any more.
    .
    I won’t say that I’ve got the answer to your blog post, but from what you’ve told me you sound like an attentive mum who usually loves hanging out with her toddler. I don’t think it will make it any better, but I’m going to say it anyway – toddler girls seem to be so smart in relation to toddler boys. I think both genders seem to demand attention and stimulation – in large does and that’s hard to give isn’t it? Then add in the girl factor, with their inquisitiveness and it’s nuts!

    People talk about consistency, rewarding good behaviour and ignoring bad, but I think you’ve got to just keep on going with what you are doing, making the best of the good times and accepting that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Life’s not perfect so it’s a great lesson for our children to be learning. At least, that’s what I tell myself 🙂 x

  2. Elizabeth
    July 8, 2011 / 5:38 pm

    I absolutely understand where you’re coming from!
    I still go with the mantra “do what it takes to get through”. I know I could be laying down the law and setting more boundaries but I don’t do it for two reasons. One is, that I don’t want to be having battles all day. It’s far more important to me that E and I have fun and enjoy each other’s company than that I strictly enforce boundaries all the time. Secondly around food, I don’t want it to become a battle ground. I just want her to enjoy exploring it, listen to her own appetite and not feel any pressures surrounding it. So she’s totally obsessed with cheese, I just let her eat cheese every day. I offer her a wide range of healthy foods which largely go untouched but I try not to stress about her (not) eating or the waste! It’s so hard. I grew up a real girly girl, all I wanted to do was have babies. But now I’m in the reality, all I want to do is go to work and have a break from parenting! So just know you’re not alone and probably everyone feels the same, they just don’t talk about it!
    x

  3. July 8, 2011 / 10:33 pm

    I read this with a definite recognition of my relationship with my 15-month old daughter. You want to set boundaries because you know that’s what you should do, but everything ends up a battle of wills and it’s SO tiring!! We were doing so well and being slightly relieved we’d had an easy time of it til now – “oh yes, she’s so laidback” we said.

    I have just read Tackle Your Toddler’s Behaviour which has been a great read (I even managed to stay awake of an evening to read more than one page at a time). But I think I’m definitely in the camp of choosing your battles carefully, even when she is standing on the coffee table for the tenth time or turning the TV on and off repeatedly. Some days it feels like we’re making progress and other days you’re tiptoeing around this tiny child-god afraid of putting a foot wrong because their milk’s taking too long to get ready or their you’ve the audacity to withhold their third ricecake before dinner…

    But at the end of the day when she’s asleep I look at her and my heart melts and reminds me that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And @Elizabeth, my daughter also loves cheese and if she’s eating it, my daughter can have cheese whenever she wants it too, cos I’m sure you’ll know, in the life of a toddler, all of a sudden cheese will be so last week…

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