Some Kind of Wonder Woman

Some days, it feels as though I need to be some kind of Wonder Woman to get through the day. I hate to say it, but sometimes the sounds of my children grate on me a little, set my teeth on edge and… make me want to close the door softly, sit on the edge of the bed and just allow the tears to fall. I don’t, of course, but maybe one day I will.

Some days, it feels as though the image others have of me could not be further from the truth at all. You have four children, they say. You must be some kind of Wonder Woman, they say. No. Just, no.

Who wants to be Wonder Woman? Who wants to set themselves up for failure in that way? Who wants the world to see them as perfect in every way? Perfect figure, perfect teeth, perfect hair. Perfect clothes, perfect children, perfect house. Perfect marriage, perfect job, perfect life. In all that perfection there is no room for reality! No room to be a real person. No room for life to get in the way.

Because it does. Life does get in the way. I find some days hard work, but that’s just how it can be. How is has to be. Those are the days we look back and think ‘Wow! We did it! We made it to school on time (by the skin of our teeth) and although my hair didn’t see a brush and my face wasn’t washed, the kids were clean and tidy. We managed play group. We only had one tantrum in Asda. We did it. We rule.’ Because each and every day that we get through means we did it. And we rule.

And if we are trying to be Wonder Woman we’re not going to get those days. Those sink on the sofa days, put your throbbing feet up and raise a glass to the false ideals of motherhood we are bombarded with through TV, social media, our own insecurities. Instead, we get guilt.

Guilt that we can’t keep it up. Guilt that other stuff has to slip because we want to keep up this pretence of being on top of it all. But actually all that pretence does is spread the guilt a little further. To other mums. New mums, old mums. So that those other mums feel bad about themselves and the things they’re doing with their own lives. So that other mums look at you and think they’re doing it all wrong. So that other mums feel inferior, insecure and useless.

Why do we do it? Why do we allow Wonder Woman to destroy the reality of motherhood?

The reality is this. Some days I want to hide in my room and cry. But I don’t because I have small people who need me and that is what keeps me going. Not the desire to be perfect, some kind of Wonder Woman. Not that.

15 Comments

  1. May 23, 2016 / 9:12 am

    completely agree with this! Everything I do is for my kids (and the occasional thing for myself). not for the world’s idea of perfection or ‘wonder woman’ x

    • May 25, 2016 / 2:18 pm

      I guess we all need to learn how to do things for ourselves without the guilt x

  2. May 23, 2016 / 10:55 am

    I can relate and sometimes feel like this.
    I have one child and sometimes find it hard to cope and feel overwhelmed.
    I think the term wonder women is used too often when it comes to us mums and we need to realise we can’t all be perfect.

    • May 25, 2016 / 2:17 pm

      I agree. Some days we are awesome and some days are hard, but if we admit that’s the case perhaps we’ll find it easier to go easy on ourselves? x x

  3. Kerry Norris
    May 23, 2016 / 10:30 pm

    Oh don’t we get so much guilt. I have been feeling loads of it lately. It’s silly because I know I’m doing a good job but we always compare ourselves to others don’t we x

    • May 25, 2016 / 2:16 pm

      Yes, mum guilt is the pits. We need to remember just how hard it can be some days xx

  4. May 24, 2016 / 7:43 am

    Being a parent is tough. This is a really lovely and honest post.

  5. May 24, 2016 / 9:08 am

    I think we’re all wonder woman anyway tbh. Maybe not with the slim waist and perfect hair, but the fact that we do hold those tears back on the hard days and restrain ourselves from putting the kids on ebay, the fact that we feed our kids those frozen chips and chicken dippers in order to ensure they’re fed no matter how healthy, the fact that we wait until the kids have gone to bed before we turn to the wine. I think it all makes us pretty awesome!!!! X

  6. May 24, 2016 / 9:35 am

    I have more days were I want to hide and cry than I do mastering the art of motherhood. It’s a tough one, I do my best and and always will try do my very best, I just find it very overwhelming at times. Who is this wonder woman?

    • May 25, 2016 / 2:15 pm

      I don’t think she exists, other than in the media. Something else for us all to feel guilty about! xx

  7. May 24, 2016 / 9:25 pm

    This is brilliant Susanne, so honest and completely true. There have been times I’ve hated it if people have said how well I’m doing because I feel then that I can’t say if I’m struggling. Although obviously it’s nice to be told you’re doing a good job!xx

    • May 25, 2016 / 2:15 pm

      It’s always nice to know you’re doing well, but there are some days I wish people would understand how hard it can be. And then there are new mums thinking other mums are coping better, when if we all admitted how it really was we’d probably stop comparing ourselves and supporting better. xx

  8. May 26, 2016 / 5:18 am

    The way we live our lives at the moment, with so many images of perfection around us has us questioning everything we do. As much as I love social media, it has a sting in its tail that leaves many of us feeling inadequate, which is wrong. We all do things in our own way and that is right for us. We are all wonder women in our own rights.

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