No one can ever prepare you for how it feels when you become a mother. Sure they tell you all about that overwhelming feeling of love. You will have heard the copious amount of comments in regards to sleep deprivation. Opinions will be fired at you from all kinds of directions, some worth listening to, some not. You hear about that maternal instinct. When you’re pregnant, you wonder whether all of it is true. Will you have those feelings of love? Will you and your baby bond? Then the baby arrives at an unexpected moment in time and then you just know. I hopefully have many of you nodding along as you read this. However, I think it is fair to say that there are a few things that every new mum needs in her life. So I thought I would share with you some of those things for all the expecting mothers.
A good coffee
Listen up; you need good coffee in your life. Or tea. But I can’t recommend coffee enough. It can come in all different ways. You can have it iced in the summer, hot and black in the winter. You can have it skinny or milky, sometimes with a sprinkling of chocolate. Coffee is coffee, though, and it does the same thing. This will be great to give you a boost in the morning. That first sip of coffee of the day makes you feel, for just a moment, that everything is okay. That you don’t still have your pyjamas on after lunch. Things will get better. Like I say though, a good cup of tea can have the same effect. Whatever your prefer. For different ways to enjoy your coffee, you could look at websites like http://www.bestespressomachinehub.com/frappucino-recipes/. It would be like going to starbucks without leaving your home. Win!
An alcoholic treat every now and again
Whether your tipple is gin, prosecco or just a decent glass of wine an alcoholic treat on a weekend is a must. Or a monday evening, if you need it. Sometimes it can be what gets us through the day. Of course, accept that what I am saying isn’t right for everyone. Not everyone enjoys a glass of wine or G&T. But every now and again it can just signify the end of a day. When you become a mum, it can be difficult to see past the mist that is the newborn days. But as each day goes on you will become more and more like yourself again.
The holy grail that is SLEEP!
Sometimes I think when your partner offers to take over childcare so you can go and have a nap has the same feeling as winning the lottery. It certainly does for a new mum anyway. Everyone warns you about the sleep deprivation, don’t they? Sometimes they may even say it with a sense of smugness in their voice. Like they know exactly what lies ahead, and you have no clue. No matter what they say, no one can prepare you for those night feeds and cries. Sometime women are blessed with babies that sleep through the night straight away. This is rare, and the majority of us will have to get through the day on next to no sleep. Getting naps while the baby sleeps is the best advice anyone can give you. As a new mum, you do need your energy, all joking aside. It’s not easy in those first few years of motherhood that is for sure. So rest when you can and don’t worry too much about housework or chores.
Friends of the mum kind
Every new mum needs a good support network. One of the best ones you can get is a few mum friends. These are the women that will understand exactly what you mean when you say you have had a tough day. Those mums can sympathise with you and relate. Your husband or partner may do their best, but they won’t ever know how it feels unless they stay at home with the baby themselves. A mum friend can offer support and advice, and they can be on hand for coffee or play dates to help break up the day. Baby brain is a real thing, and having mum friends around can help ease you back into the world of the living. It’s not easy at first, and if you don’t already have them making friends may not be easy. But make the effort to talk to mothers at play groups or when you get your baby weighed. The chances are they will be feeling the same. You will bond over poo explosions, drinking wine and lack of sleep. These friendships will last a lifetime.
Not only do new mums need the support of mum friends, but they also need the support of their family. They need their family to understand they that have gone through a big change, emotionally and physically. A mother will always get it, but the men in the family, especially husbands and partners might not understand so much. When you become a mum, your emotions are at their highest, so you may cry, and you may feel down. But you need to remember that this is just part of it all, and it is just a phase. Many women experience the baby blues and might not understand why they feel the way they do. But it is just a phase, and you will feel better. This is why it is important to have the support of close family around you.
The ability to laugh at herself
Finally, all new mothers need the ability to laugh at themselves. You will find yourself in situations where you little ones will wee on you. Or the most disgusting poo explosions you will ever see. You may have just done your hair for you abby to be sick all over it. Or just got ready to leave the house only for you need to change your stained clothes or change a nappy. Just remember that they won’t stay small for long, so enjoy it and laugh at the funny moments.
Motherhood is a crazy rollercoaster of emotions and memories, make sure you enjoy every moment of it.